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If you are looking for a windfall invest in Uganda’s ‘death sector’ By Joachim Buwembo

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In Uganda, we treasure death. So we invest more in death than in health. To understand how we cherish death more than health, you need to follow our insurers’ talk. Please note that I said how, not why, for I can’t explain the why.

Since Covid-19 came by three years ago and harassed us, you would have expected that we would all go out and acquire some medical cover fitting our income. But the latest we hear is that it is death-driving growth in Uganda’s insurance industry!

Our nation loves funerals. Unlike Kenyans, Ugandans won’t contribute to your hospital bill, but will rush to pay it if you die so your corpse can be released. Here, you may give all the help you can to a person nursing a dear one, but should you fail to turn up for the burial, they won’t forgive you. But they will praise the one who rushed to the graveside even if he ignored their pleas for help during illness.

Traditionally, a proud person here is threatened with questions like, “Who will bury you?” or “Will you bury yourself?”

Respectable funeral

Anyway, since Covid-19 happened, we remembered (as if we had forgotten) that we have to die one day and if there isn’t enough money in the family, the burial might not be beautiful and expensive enough. So we now make arrangements to ensure we get a respectable funeral when we pop.

Again, it is not new, only that formal, corporate insurance is just discovering it. But all Ugandan communities have been having their burial preparations for healthy people, but no financial arrangements to treat the sick not to die. We always had unregistered burial cooperative societies in every village, going under names like Friends Bury One Another or Friendship in Danger, and Let’s Help One Another. These societies are sex-segregated, with those for men usually sitting once a week around a pot of brew, collecting some money at every sitting.

These monies tend to grow too big sums and there are no reports of embezzlement by the responsible officials. Should a member lose a close relative, they step in and finance the funeral, vigils, and burial comprehensively, even giving a hefty envelope to console the bereaved.

The women’s burial groups meet over a cup of tea and collect money for similar purposes.

Undertaker services

What seems to be waking up corporate insurance funeral companies’ formalising and individualising these arrangements. For the past three or so years, undertakers have been promoting their services by advising/advertising that it is better to pay a small amount monthly to them so that should you or a family member die —they use kinder words, of course — you are assured of a respectable funeral. The insurers have seen the business and aren’t about to let the undertakers enjoy it alone.

This comes after investing in health insurance has generally “refused” to take off. The figures for Ugandans with individual health cover are just laughable. A sizeable number, maybe about half a million, have modest health cover paid by the employers as a fringe benefit, which you lose when you lose the job.

But, of the 45 million Ugandans, those who go out to buy their own health policy are in the lower five digits. You can’t blame us when government every year ritualistically tells us during budget time that it can’t afford universal health cover. We conclude that if government cannot afford it, then an individual can’t. So, if treatment is unaffordable and death is a certainty, then we’d rather invest in death. But our leaders in parliament beat us to it; they got about $20,000 provided for their own funeral each paid by the taxpayer, of course.

So, if you have or can borrow some cash, come invest it in the death business here, you won’t go wrong. Come up with beautiful coffins, elegant hearses or digital wreaths. How about flying hearses since 97 percent of our people die without ever boarding a plane (it was 99 percent before our girls started trafficking themselves to go die in the Middle East)!

Offering a helicopter to fly the dead with family members from the mortuary to the burial site would be a hit: –You’ll make profit charging $2,000 a burial flight in this small country and you will never get a rest flying dead fellows around. You just can’t go wrong investing in death stuff here. Thank me later.

Buwembo is a Kampala-based journalist. E-mail: buwembo@gmail.com

Strictly Personal

If I were put in charge of a $15m African kitty, I’d first deworm children, By Charles Onyango-Obbo

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One of my favourite stories on pan-African action (or in this case inaction), one I will never tire of repeating, comes from 2002, when the discredited Organisation of African Unity, was rebranded into an ambitious, new African Union (AU).

There were many big hitters in African statehouses then. Talking of those who have had the grace to step down or leave honourably after electoral or political defeat, or have departed, in Nigeria we had Olusegun Obasanjo, a force of nature. Cerebral and studious Thabo Mbeki was chief in South Africa. In Ethiopia, the brass-knuckled and searingly intellectual Meles Zenawi ruled the roost.

In Tanzania, there was the personable and thoughtful Ben Mkapa. In Botswana, there was Festus Mogae, a leader who had a way of bringing out the best in people. In Senegal, we had Abdoulaye Wade, fresh in office, and years before he went rogue.

And those are just a few.

This club of men (there were no women at the high table) brought forth the AU. At that time, there was a lot of frustration about the portrayal of Africa in international media, we decided we must “tell our own story” to the world. The AU, therefore, decided to boost the struggling Pan-African New Agency (Pana) network.

The members were asked to write cheques or pledges for it. There were millions of dollars offered by the South Africans and Nigerians of our continent. Then, as at every party, a disruptive guest made a play. Rwanda, then still roiled by the genocide against the Tutsi of 1994, offered the least money; a few tens of thousand dollars.

There were embarrassed looks all around. Some probably thought it should just have kept is mouth shut, and not made a fool of itself with its ka-money. Kigali sat unflustered. Maybe it knew something the rest didn’t.

The meeting ended, and everyone went their merry way. Pana sat and waited for the cheques to come. The big talkers didn’t walk the talk. Hardly any came, and in the sums that were pledged. Except one. The cheque from Rwanda came in the exact amount it was promised. The smallest pledge became Pana’s biggest payday.

The joke is that it was used to pay terminal benefits for Pana staff. They would have gone home empty-pocketed.

We revive this peculiarly African moment (many a deep-pocketed African will happily contribute $300 to your wedding but not 50 cents to build a school or set up a scholarship fund), to campaign for the creation of small and beautiful African things.

It was brought on by the announcement by South Korea that it had joined the African Summit bandwagon, and is shortly hosting a South Korea-Africa Summit — like the US, China, the UK, the European Union, Japan, India, Russia, Italy, Saudi Arabia, and Turkey do.

Apart from the AU, whose summits are in danger of turning into dubious talk shops, outside of limited regional bloc events, there is no Pan-African platform that brings the continent’s leaders together.

The AU summits are not a solutions enterprise, partly because over 60 percent of its budget is funded by non-African development partners. You can’t seriously say you are going to set up a $500 million African climate crisis fund in the hope that some Europeans will put up the money.

It’s possible to reprise the Rwanda-Pana pledge episode; a convention of African leaders and important institutions on the continent for a “Small Initiatives, Big Impact Compact”. It would be a barebones summit. In the first one, leaders would come to kickstart it by investing seed money.

The rule would be that no country would be allowed to put up more than $100,000 — far, far less than it costs some presidents and their delegations to attend one day of an AU summit.

There would also be no pledges. Everyone would come with a certified cheque that cannot bounce, or hard cash in a bag. After all, some of our leaders are no strangers to travelling around with sacks from which they hand out cash like they were sweets.

If 54 states (we will exempt the Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic for special circumstances) contribute $75,000 each, that is a good $4.05 million.

If just 200 of the bigger pan-African institutions such as the African Development Bank, Afrexim Bank, the giant companies such as MTN, Safaricom, East African Breweries, Nedbank, De Beers, Dangote, Orascom in Egypt, Attijariwafa Bank in Morocco, to name a few, each ponied up $75,000 each, that’s a cool $15 million just for the first year alone.

There will be a lot of imagination necessary to create magic out of it all, no doubt, but if I were asked to manage the project, I would immediately offer one small, beautiful thing to do.

After putting aside money for reasonable expenses to be paid at the end (a man has to eat) — which would be posted on a public website like all other expenditures — I would set out on a programme to get the most needy African children a dose of deworming tablets. Would do it all over for a couple of years.

Impact? Big. I read that people who received two to three additional years of childhood deworming experience an increase of 14 percent in consumption expenditure, 13 percent in hourly earnings, and nine percent in non-agricultural work hours.

At the next convention, I would report back, and possibly dazzle with the names, and photographs, of all the children who got the treatment. Other than the shopping opportunity, the US-Africa Summit would have nothing on that.

Charles Onyango-Obbo is a journalist, writer, and curator of the “Wall of Great Africans”. X@cobbo3

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Strictly Personal

AU shouldn’t look on as outsiders treat Africa like a widow’s house, By Joachim Buwembo

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There is no shortage of news from the UK, a major former colonial master in Africa, over whose former empire the sun reputedly never set. We hope and pray that besides watching the Premier League, the managers of our economies are also monitoring the re-nationalisation of British Railways (BR).

 

Three decades after BR was privatised in the early to mid-nineties — around the season when Africa was hit by the privatisation fashion — there is emerging consensus by both conservative and liberal parties that it is time the major public transport system reverts to state management.

 

Yes, there are major services that should be rendered by the state, and the public must not be abandoned to the vagaries of purely profit-motivated capitalism. It is not enough to only argue that government is not good at doing business, because some business is government business.

 

Since we copied many of our systems from the British — including wigs for judges — we may as well copy the humility to accept if certain fashions don’t work.

 

Another piece of news from the UK, besides football, was of this conservative MP Tim Loughton, who caused a stir by getting summarily deported from Djibouti and claiming the small African country was just doing China’s bidding because he recently rubbed Beijing the wrong way.

 

China has dismissed the accusation as baseless, and Africa still respects China for not meddling in its politics, even as it negotiates economic partnerships. China generously co-funded the construction of Djibouti’s super modern multipurpose port.

 

What can African leaders learn from the Loughton Djibouti kerfuffle? The race to think for and manage Africa by outsiders is still on and attracting new players.

 

While China has described the Loughton accusation as lies, it shows that the accusing (and presumably informed) Britons suspect other powerful countries to be on a quest to influence African thinking and actions.

 

And while the new bidders for Africa’s resources are on the increase including Russia, the US, Middle Eastern newly rich states, and India, even declining powers like France, which is losing ground in West Africa, could be looking for weaker states to gain a new foothold.

 

My Ugandan people describe such a situation as treating a community like “like a widow’s house,” because the poor, defenceless woman is susceptible to having her door kicked open by any local bully. Yes, these small and weak countries are not insignificant and offer fertile ground for the indirect re-colonisation of the continent.

 

Djibouti, for example, may be small —at only 23,000square kilometres, with a population of one million doing hardly any farming, thus relying on imports for most of its food — but it is so strategically located that the African Union should look at it as precious territory that must be protected from external political influences.

 

It commands the southern entrance into the Red Sea, thus linking Africa to the Middle East. So if several foreign powers have military bases in Djibouti, why shouldn’t the AU, with its growing “peace kitty,” now be worth some hundreds of millions of dollars?

 

At a bilateral level, Ethiopia and Djibouti are doing impressively well in developing infrastructure such as the railway link, a whole 750 kilometres of it electrified. The AU should be looking at more such projects linking up the whole continent to increase internal trade with the continental market, the fastest growing in the world.

 

And, while at it, the AU should be resolutely pushing out fossil-fuel-based transportation the way Ethiopia is doing, without even making much noise about it. Ethiopia can be quite resolute in conceiving and implementing projects, and surely the AU, being headquartered in Addis Ababa, should be taking a leaf rather than looking on as external interests treat the continent like a Ugandan widow’s house.

 

Buwembo is a Kampala-based journalist. E-mail:buwembo@gmail.com

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